The Philosphers' Drinking Song,
                       by
                  Monty Python


       Ohhh, Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
        Who was very rarely stable.

       Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
        who could think you under the table.

       David Hume could out-consume
        Schoppenhauer and Hagel

       And Wittegenstein was a beery swine
        Who was just as scholshed as Schlagel.

       There's nothing Neitsche couldn't teach'ya
        'bout the raisin' of the wrist.

       Socrates himself was permanently pissed....

       John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
        of a half a pint of shanty was particularly ill

       Plato, they say, could stick it away,
        half a case of whiskey every day

       Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
        Hobbes was fond of his dram

       And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
        "I drink, therefore I am."

       And Socrates himself is particularly missed:
        A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.